Artists

As I was putting my daughter to bed she started talking about how people are different. She said, “Why don’t some people like blueberries and some do?”
“People just have different taste buds that make them like different things. There are lots of ways people are different. Some like cats and some like dogs…”
“Some have different color hair?”
“Yes, exactly.”
“And some people are artists and some are real people.”
“What? Honey, artists are real people.”
“OHHHHHHHHH.”

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Shoplifting

I was standing in line at Buffalo Exchange and a crazy guy was yelling in Spanish except for “FUCK YOU!” right before he grabbed a pair of vintage Nikes and ran out the door.
Sales girl- “Uhhh. He just stole.”
Sales guy- “Uh. Yeahhhhhh. He always does that.”