I was standing in line at Buffalo Exchange and a crazy guy was yelling in Spanish except for “FUCK YOU!” right before he grabbed a pair of vintage Nikes and ran out the door.
Sales girl- “Uhhh. He just stole.”
Sales guy- “Uh. Yeahhhhhh. He always does that.”

A group of Asian ladies, each about 4 feet tall, just got on the elevator with me. One looked up at me then said to another one, “You so small. Is awkward. She so tall.” The other one said, “Don’t state obvious!” Then they all giggled hysterically until we got out.