When I get on the subway elevator I like to pretend I’m the elevator police. I think to myself, “Lady with a double stroller, ok go ahead. Slightly overweight guy in a business suit not carrying anything except a frappuchino, let’s move it along to the stairs there buddy. Homeless guy carrying all his possessions in two overfilled Duane Reade bags, come on in. Crazy yelling lady with only one bag, let me check the weight of that. Even crazies need exercise.”

As I was putting my daughter to bed she started talking about how people are different. She said, “Why don’t some people like blueberries and some do?”
“People just have different taste buds that make them like different things. There are lots of ways people are different. Some like cats and some like dogs…”
“Some have different color hair?”
“Yes, exactly.”
“And some people are artists and some are real people.”
“What? Honey, artists are real people.”
“OHHHHHHHHH.”