My daughter is really proud of her farts, so proud that every time she hears anything that sounds like one she says, “That was MY toot!” It could be a ketchup bottle, or a chair scooting on the floor, or someone else’s actual fart. So whenever we’re in a public restroom and someone farts in the next stall, of course she yells, “THAT WAS MY TOOT!” and I rush her out the door before the person who did it can come out and see us.

I have these really goofy sweatpants made by the fabulously hilarious company O-mighty, and they have minesweeper and the Windows 95 logo and all this other old computer stuff on them. Every time I wear them my husband is like, “You love wearing stuff from the 90’s.” And I’m like, “No, if someone in the 90’s actually wore these it would have been weird! People would be like, “Why do your pants have all that totally normal computer stuff on them?” You don’t get it!” Every time.

I’m not sure why someone designed a children’s shirt inspired by Warren G and Nate Dogg’s “Regulate,” but I’m really glad they did.