Jail is the Slightly Better Option

When kids are teething sometimes you spend the morning imagining your neighbors calling social services to report someone axe murdering children upstairs, then thinking of ways to explain that you just had to take your son off the boob for 68 seconds to change his diaper and they weren’t actually getting axe murdered it just sounded like it I promise, see look he’s on my boob right now, he’s been here perfectly happy for the past 4 hours minus 68 seconds, do you like kids? Do you want to hold him? Where are you going?

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