I’m always walking around thinking, “Maybe that ‘Humans of New York’ guy will interview me for his blog and I’ll say something heartbreaking yet funny, and it will be so perfect that thousands of people on the internet will leave really kind, supportive comments about me. But then I realize I’m just going to the store to buy soy milk, and if he stopped and interviewed me right now I would probably just say, “I’m going to buy soy milk. I put it in my coffee every morning. I LOVE coffee. Do you like coffee? I used to drink almond milk, but then I switched back to soy milk. I don’t really know why.” And that would be the whole interview. Then we would stare at each other for a second, and I would say, “Sorry for wasting your time,” and quickly walk away.