Dear Children’s Tylenol and Whoever Makes Antibiotics For Kids,
Hey, what’s up. First off, thanks for a great product that makes my kids not be up all night with those weird night terrors they get when they’re sick sometimes. LOVE that. But to be honest, I don’t totally love that you make children’s medicine taste like candy. Something about it seems irresponsible. You may ask, “Why? Isn’t it so much nicer to have your child placidly swallow their medicine, no questions asked, instead of forcing it on them kicking and screaming?” Well, my short answer is “no.” My slightly longer answer is, “Tonight after dinner, instead of a cookie my daughter asked me for drugs. It was awkward.” My even longer answer is, “I’m not a conspiracy theorist or anything, but I’m starting to envision you as a creepy Willy Wonka / drug lord / mad scientist sitting in your fancy office / witch castle thinking of new flavors to get kids hooked. Remember when we were little and all medicine tasted super nasty? And right after you swallowed it your mom would give you a piece of candy? Maybe there was a reason for that. I mean even Mary Poppins sang, “A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down.” Mary Poppins is the gold standard of parenting. Frankly I’m suspicious of anyone who would mess with that.”
K thanks.

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