Jeez lady, do you have a staring problem? Oh wait, maybe you just saw me lean over and scoop up a handful of regurgitated apple skins from the front of my son’s wool sweater and stuff it into my mouth, hairy bits and all. What can I tell you? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Or maybe you overheard me calling my daughter’s Cheerios her “chocolate goat vitamins.” What can I tell you? Sometimes she gets mad if I don’t call them that, so I’m just being safe. I assure you I’m not on an acid trip, I’m just being a mom.