Over spring break, we went to visit my family in Kentucky. I was fully prepared to take my two children on a flight all by myself while my husband stayed here to work. Aside from books, I had all four food groups: snacks, new snacks, candy, and “surprise candy” which included a small package of leftover Peeps from Easter a few weeks ago as I assume their shelf life is infinity. After my toddler slammed the tray table shut and sprayed everyone within a 3-row radius with apple juice, I decided our situation was just bad enough to break out the surprise candy. They couldn’t have been happier. My toddler lovingly bit off the bunny’s two ears. I said, “Look, he likes to eat the ears first. Do you know what I like to do? I like to try and eat it’s little face off first.” Without missing a beat my 4 year-old shouted, “I LIKE TO EAT IT’S VAGINA FIRST!”